(Post by CAROLYN SOLARES)

For years, I long said that of my two sisters, one had good luck and one had bizarre luck. Me, however, I described as having no luck. Even worse, I wore my neutral luck as a badge of honor, believing that nothing worth having or achieving should be easy. I didn’t need luck, I insisted arrogantly.

A man I worked with during my early twenties once told me wisely that I would make my own luck. Unfortunately, I interpreted his kind comment to mean that I would have to work hard to earn that luck. I thought I was supposed to slog through life, persevering despite adversity and boredom.

It took me years to realize that his point wasn’t that I should labor and toil to achieve moderate success. Creating my own luck had nothing to do with being lucky and everything to do with allowing good things to happen.

Life at work has recently been chaotic and confusing, causing me to fall back into old stress responses and irritating habits. Both tempted me to attribute my confusion to a variety of factors, of course none of which had anything to do with me. Thankfully, the universe no longer lets me linger in blame or self-pity.

I was in a particularly bad mood one evening this week. Feeling overwhelmed, misunderstood and a little sorry for myself, I wrote in my journal that I really wished a certain co-worker had my back.

But these days, no sooner do I ask a question or launch a complaint like this when I receive the answer.

What I heard in reply was loud and clear: I didn’t need to wait for anyone to come to my rescue because the universe always has my back. I considered this bold statement for a moment, and then laughed as I continued to write, my bad mood now replaced with appreciation and gentle self-mockery.

Call it luck or belief or allowing, whenever I let go of my stubborn (and petulant) habits, things really do work out for me, usually in far more specific and meaningful ways than I could have imagined. For a recovering control freak, surrendering this way feels awkward and at times a little scary, so sometimes it takes a while for me to fully let go. That said, once I do, it’s easy to see that whether things work out for me is not a matter of being unlucky or lucky, but unwilling or willing.

While meeting with my co-worker the following day, I noticed that our conversation had an entirely different tone from previous meetings. As we shifted topics, and with no prodding from me, she stated unequivocally that she had my back. Then she proceeded to describe exactly how. I shook my head as I walked to my next meeting, marveling that once again my luck had shifted following my own change of mind and heart.

Carolyn Solares, Minneapolis, Minnesota

Carolyn Solares is a writer and creative business consultant who loves living a happy life and writing about the journey. Carolyn’s diverse professional background includes experience in Fortune 500 companies, consulting with a variety of small businesses—and four years in the U.S. Army in Military Intelligence. She holds an MBA from Xavier University and a BA from Fordham University in Russian Studies. Carolyn is a contributing author in the book Happiness Awaits You! (2010) and her first book will be published in 2011. She also writes regularly on her blog “Signs & Serendipity.”  Follow her on Twitter.