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“How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Count the Ways.” – Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Choice Not Chance Living to LEARN — 10 July 2012
“How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Count the Ways.” – Elizabeth Barrett Browning

(Post by KAARINA DILLABOUGH)

I’m curious. Is caring loving, and loving, caring? When we show care for someone, do we simultaneously show love for them too?

Love is such a curious word in itself. It makes some people squeamish. It’s a word that gets avoided. And yet it’s such a glorious word!

It’s been said that love, compassion and kindness are all virtues.

And these virtues are well expressed over at my friend Al Smith’s site – The C.A.R.E. Movement – for which this post was originally written.

Here are 31 ways in which CARE – Communication, Appreciation, Respect and Encouragement can be shown in small, meaningful ways, each and every day. I’m counting to 31…a month’s worth of CARE-ing.

1. Do something nice for someone without any expectation of something in return.
2. Hold the door open for someone: literally and figuratively.
3. Listen. Don’t try to solve someone’s problem, give advice or offer your opinion. Just listen.
4. Tell someone that you respect them, and be specific about what it is you respect. Look them in the eye when you say it.
5. Apologize when you should.
6. Leave handwritten notes for family or friends…in pockets, lunch pails, tacked on the refrigerator…funny, fun, loving notes.
7. Volunteer. Somewhere. Anywhere.
8. Smile and laugh. It brightens the day of those around you.
9. Be fully present when in someone’s presence.
10. Give credit where credit is due. Acknowledge someone when they’re not expecting it.
11. Always exercise best judgment.
12. Know people’s names, and spell them properly.
13. Forgive.
14. Never go to sleep angry.
15. When you find a penny on the sidewalk, pick it up and give it to a stranger, and say you’re passing along good luck and fortune to them.
16. Make something hand-made and give it as a gift.
17. Send a handwritten, snail-mail delivered card to someone whose day will be brightened by it.
18. Hug. (but only those people who want/like to be hugged)
19. Know there’s a fine line between brutal honesty and brutality.
20. Surprise someone. (in a good way, of course!)
21. Be clear with your words. If you feel your words have been misinterpreted…ask. Then clarify, don’t defend or justify. Build bridges not walls.
22. Allow people to finish their sentences.
23. Solve problems, don’t create or add to them.
24. Warm up the car and scrape the windshield of snow and ice if you’re the first to leave the house. (that’s for all us in snow belts)
25. Say “hi” or make eye contact and smile at those you pass in the street, on the bus, at the store. (and yes, I’ve been told that in some cities that’s risky business, but I refer you back to #11)
26. Check your ego at the door. Allow your light to shine through naturally, and illuminate those around you.
27. Applaud effort, empathize with struggle and encourage action.
28. Pay-it-forward, in action, deed, word and gift. If someone has admired something of yours and you’re ready to set it free, set it free to the person whose life will be enriched by it.
29. Smile and laugh. Oh yeah…I said that already. Bears repeating.
30. Be in the moment.
31. Be the best you can be, and let that “best me” be the person, friend, colleague, customer and human being you give to the world each and every day.

(This post originally appeared as a Guest Post on my friend Al Smith’s site http://thecaremovement.com/blog/ reprinted here with his permission)

Kaarina Dillabough, Amaranth, Ontario

Kaarina is a business/life coach living in Ontario, Canada. For over 25 years her high-voltage energy, expertise and experience has inspired those she has worked with to reach beyond their grasp, to attain great things in business and in life. A former Olympic sports colour commentator and coach, Kaarina parlayed her coaching skills from the gym floor to the boardroom, working with business owners to improve their profitability and prosperity. In doing so, she has seen people grow both personally and professionally. Kaarina is known as an inspiring motivational speaker in areas such as branding, marketing, business growth strategies, and personal growth and prosperity. She is a passionate, seasoned coach and accountability partner with a proven track record, who loves nothing more than helping people achieve their goals in business and in life. Check out her Blog or follow her on Facebook or Twitter. Email contact: kaarina (at) kaarinadillabough (dot) com

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(8) Readers Comments

  1. July 10, 2012 at 3:48 pm

    ;-) So my kinda post. Just love it! I tried picking a favorite – but no – I practice each one of these….no..not No.24. No car, no snow. Beautiful, Kaarina. I’ve written several list posts along the same lines. And it always leaves me with a sense of happiness and love.

    Thank you! Hugs, Vidya

    • July 10, 2012 at 6:54 pm

      Hugs right back at’cha Vidya:) And I can send you some snow, haha! Thanks so much for dropping by. Cheers! Kaarina

  2. July 10, 2012 at 3:48 pm

    #13…forgive.

    To truly forgive is one of the hardest, but most compassionate things we can do for someone who has hurt us deeply. To consciously refuse to add more hurt and burden to an already suffering person has no reward except peace to the “giver”. But for the one who hurt, to know, really know that another person can love them unconditionally is transformative….
    I feel that with children all the time.

    • July 10, 2012 at 6:56 pm

      And forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves. To hold onto unforgiveness only punishes further the person who won’t let go. Thanks for swinging by and commenting Betsy. Cheers! Kaarina

  3. July 10, 2012 at 4:10 pm

    You just had to mention snow… didn’t you? ;)

    I don’t practice much of these, and this has come as an eye opener. I do make it a point to call people on a regular basis. That is my way of being in touch and showing that I care. But yes, sometimes a little more is needed. We can’t always take people for granted. And you showed us how to do it! :)

    A sense of being happy and being loved is the most special ever!

    • July 10, 2012 at 6:56 pm

      Snow, snow, snow, haha! I believe that everyone craves being cared for and cared about. Love does indeed make the world go round. Sending love your way:) Cheers! Kaarina

  4. July 10, 2012 at 5:13 pm

    I needed to read this today, Kaarina, as I’ve been feeling especially discouraged and even hopeless about the way people treat one another, and how mean-spirited, angry, self-centered, and vengeful it seems everyone is becoming here in America and around the world. I’ve been getting weary.

    You reminded me that while we do indeed live in a dark world, that’s all the more reason to be light wherever we are. And the darker the room, the brighter even a little light is!

    Thank-you for the encouragement today!

    • July 10, 2012 at 6:59 pm

      Michelle, it can be quite disheartening when we see before us and around us the under-belly of human behaviour. The best we can do is to be the best we can be. Fan the flame within us to help spread the light. And you are so right. There’s lots of opportunity to brighten any darkness that we feel around us.

      I’m happy to lift some of that load off your shoulders, if I can. Breathe deeply. Smile fully, Realize that there’s only one one-and-only you, and shine that light, as you do so well. Cheers! Kaarina